You must really have a lot of time on your hands if you’re interested in my non-famous, non-rich backstory. But if you’re stuck in a maximum-security prison (with internet access), then hold the Heinz 57, here comes the catch-up:
The North Carolina years ::
Inauspicious beginnings: the very first entry (”You’ve just witnessed hitch #1 of 2,478,966″)
Applying for and winning a filmmaking grant, without ever really writing about it (”Molten fucking gold was flowing directly out of my head onto the page”)
The most convoluted way to get a job in New York:
Part 1: writing at great length about a job falling through the cracks (”And then–nothing”)
Part 2: getting a job at a company because of having written about not getting hired by another company (”And then–something”)Taking a writing gig on the side before finally getting a job and moving into the city (”Hurry up and wait”) — and being called a douchebag on the job
Film (in) theory ::
Defining the “Actual Movies” ratings system (”When significantly reduced expectations meet disaffected youth, you have a drastically-lowered bar. Is it an Actual Movie?”)
The short-lived ratings themselves (”This will allow all of us to engage in the universally enjoyable activity of debating things of little consequence”)
A wannabe filmmaker’s lament on Hollywood’s lack of even wanting to be original (”No one appreciates origininality. See–it’s so rare that I don’t even know how to spell the word”)
Comparing real-life sex to on-screen sex, and the relative shortage of both (”When’s the last time you saw a sex scene where someone actually went to the nightstand drawer?”)
A Kongparison between three versions of King Kong
Part 1–1933 (”Kong like dark meat”)
Part 2–1976 (”One cannot possibly write anything about a 70s-era American film without making some sort of marijuana reference”)
Part 3–2005 (”Bush and Bin Laden each twists his respective scriptures to suit his own purposes, but each also believes in his heart that his war is a just one… In the same way that the tribal leader stringing up Naomi Watts believes that he’s doing what his God wants”)
Music musings ::
Defining dechievement (”If you are trying to stretch the boundaries of what’s been done before, it’s possible to undercut what already exists, rather than trying to hold yourself to a higher standard”)
The Black Eyed Peas, subjects of fertile reflection:
Part 1–Monkey Business (”the real reason we go “clubbing” is because our day jobs are boring, and we spend every weekday knee-deep in it, with pleated slacks, a tucked-in shirt, and possibly even shoes with tassels”)
Part 2–Compare and contrast (”No commentary necessary”)
A born-again New Yorker ::
Mulling over participating in a $100,000 TV pilot contest, and instead deciding to launch the web series The West Side (and hopefully a film career) independently (”we realized that our dream all along was to build an audience purely through word-of-mouth with a do-it-yourself approach to everything–the content, the website, the production blog, and whatever else there may be”).
Winning the 2008 Webby Award for Best Drama Series for the The West Side, and then being selected as one of Filmmaker Magazine’s 25 New Faces of Independent Film
Getting laid off from the day job thanks to a “global economic downturn” (apparently the word “recession” has been stricken from the English language)