August 13, 2015 at 6:02PM, Edited August 13, 6:09PM

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Experimental Narrative Short

This is a short I've just recently put the finishing touches on for film school. A "neo-noir" puppet detective story, with some 40s radio re-appropriation and stock footage worked in for good measure. Comments, critiques, appreciated.
https://vimeo.com/135636637

2 Comments

First I applaud you on working in a puppet as well as the random trippy cuts with the radio sounds. That stuff is way cool.

I'd work on your lighting. I can tell you are using hard light, but everything could be a bit brighter/harsher. Use your blinds to create some texture. The other thing is to work on your audio especially with the puppet. Sometimes it was great and sometimes I didn't feel like the puppet was talking. Putting a mic actually on your puppeteer would do wonders. Otherwise this was pretty awesome. You've got some really great stuff going on! Hope to see more!

August 14, 2015 at 3:30PM, Edited August 14, 3:30PM

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Matt Clark
Producer / Writer / DP
581

Agreed with the puppet character, anytime you can stretch your ideas to include out of the box ideas is fascinating.

Graphically, the titles don't really fit the style of "film noir" in my opinion. I would look at examples of fonts/layouts from films around that era and match it a bit more. It felt more in the vein of horror/suspense.

I also think the intro was a bit long, and perhaps cutting in some of the footage you captured throughout the film would help with the style you are going after. Might help be a bit more interesting as well as feel a bit like foreshadowing, which was often done in this style of filmmaking in those days.

The chapters were a great idea, well done. Interesting concept overall, keep creating!

September 17, 2018 at 7:30PM

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Jonathan Knepper
Creative Team Lead
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