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We'd love some feedback on our latest Doc! Any comments & suggestions welcome as we continue our series.
Here's the link; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6s4n3yKJzU
Great cinematography, especially B-roll footage. Good location sound (city streets are a challenge!). Compelling subject and a good amount of show (rather than tell).
What's missing for me is the strong narrative arc: a beginning that really sets my expectations for how everything I see in the middle fits into the arc as necessary, and an ending that pays off every promise made in the beginning. The edit presented seems like all exposition and no payoff (other than the pretty images).
I think it's a missed opportunity to not have incorporated some of the digital stills into the piece. We see the photographer taking lots of photos, but we never see her art work--how the still creates a truth that not even video can capture. That leaves an open question for me.
But great work on the all the fundamental technical skills that feed into the edit!
January 18, 2017 at 5:11AM
Thanks for the feedback!
Great point, more of a story would have made a more interesting film. We found it hard to balance creating a profile on Helen & forming a story. Our story was more of the day unfolding and the issues of the shoot. Less interview & more 'in the moment' clips would of been good.
Sadly we didn't have the final images & don't know when we will! (I'm sure they're good)
Glad to hear you like it & again, thanks.
January 23, 2017 at 7:09AM
I will add; the lighting isn't always ideal indoors. I know you're on a limited budget with a limited crew, but even placing your subject a little differently and adding one light can make a huge difference. The sound is also fine but you should use a "dead cat" outdoors. Up-cutting speech is particularly jarring, which happens at least once. As for content, I was interested at first but got tired of Helen talking. I'd like to hear more location dialogue, even if it's irrelevant, but I admit I wasn't watching intently after the first five minutes. Do we ever see Rose? Why doesn't she talk? In short, not a bad piece but needs more depth as Mr. Tiemann said.
January 18, 2017 at 7:44AM, Edited January 18, 8:02AM
We didn't want to interfere with the project as our film was secondary to the photoshoot on the day. I agree more thought into placement and lighting & not 'making do', could help us next time. - Thanks for the feedback!
January 23, 2017 at 7:10AM
I would not be afraid of using deep blacks which is missing from your footage.
January 18, 2017 at 3:58PM
Thanks for the advice! We're experimenting with them at the moment!
January 23, 2017 at 7:11AM
Well done Bradley. I wonder if a much shorter edit would be stronger?
January 20, 2017 at 8:46AM
Maybe but Helena herself wanted more of the questions she answered included & we wanted to accommodate. Maybe we could do a re-edit in the future, thanks for the idea!
January 23, 2017 at 7:12AM
I feel that a shorter edit would be wise. Honestly my retention time was not that long but as I scrolled through the video I saw some good footage. Also the use of a microphone deadcat would greatly help your outdoor audio quality. Great job though!
January 22, 2017 at 1:49PM
Dead cats a good point. Shorter edit wasn't possible on this one, but we'll try it out on future films, thanks!
January 23, 2017 at 7:14AM