November 17, 2016 at 9:41AM, Edited November 17, 9:45AM

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New Short Film, Any Feedback Encouraged

This is my first short film, I directed and wrote it myself. Any feedback on it is strongly encouraged. Thanks!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnfQjHFikSZFAAv_g4pVrbA

2 Comments

320p?
Even if you recorded on a DV camera, you could have uploaded a better resolution.
To be honest, i think you need to practise every aspect of filmmaking.
Framing and coverage was ok i think.
There seems to be a story, but it seems your film takes place after the interesting part.

Next time, maybe write a situation where he gets a chance to get his life/ her back but fails/ succeeds against all odds, or show how he got there although he tried so hard not to. let your character fight against destiny.

November 17, 2016 at 4:03PM

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Daniel
just a filmmaker
128

I'm going to be extraordinarily blunt and maybe even rude, so please forgive me. I lost interest very quickly and started skipping through the timeline. It seemed to be ten minutes of a guy stumbling with random cut-away shots; no real story to tell. The photography was adequate but the brightness/contrast weren't good, the audio was too hot (no location audio or inter-titles either), why was it black & white? A shortened version of this might make a good montage in a bigger piece (as Daniel indirectly suggested) but it doesn't stand on its own.
Pleases don't let my comments discourage you. I was absolutely horrible when I started and there wasn't much of an internet to help! Producing shorts is a great way to get practice and hone your skills, but in our day and age of ever-shortening attention spans, you have to make a statement without anything that isn't absolutely necessary.
My final words, I'm going to quote a successful but not especially well-known actor with whom I've had the pleasure of working. "The worst thing I ever hear on a production is 'good enough'." In other words, if you don't think something is excellent, you need to redo it.

November 18, 2016 at 8:51PM

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