November 11, 2014 at 12:03AM

0

Your comments about my first short

Hello all,

I'm completely new to this world. I have a Canon T3i that I used for the past years to take photos. I got myself interested into making videos lately and I kept on exploring dedicated website like this one since last summer. You guys really helped me on plenty of stuff.
I just made my first short with a few colleagues and friends and I would like your comments on it, please :)

Here you go: http://www.festivalnikon.fr/video/2014/266
I submitted it to the Nikon Film Festival, that gave me a good reason to put so much involvement in it. The theme this year is "I am a choice".

Thanks in advance dear nostudents ;)
Julien

7 Comments

Good production. The illumination in indoors is poor.

November 11, 2014 at 5:23AM

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Ragüel Cremades
Film producer and director
7754

Hello Ragüel!
Thanks a lot for your feedback.
Indeed, we worked with no light and it would be one of my next investments for sure. I had to increase the light on the boss' face in post and it shows.

November 11, 2014 at 6:52AM

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-When he's waiting for the elevator, it's just about to arrive when he gives up. If you know how, I'd try to edit so that the number climb as opposed to him running away when it arrives.
-Watch jump cuts.
-When match cutting, don't let the action dawdle (when she slaps him, too much pause)

I didn't really understand from the film what was wrong with him. Why did he fail? That wasn't made clear for me. Also if there was a threat of being late, we should've seen more time devices or in some way been reminded that it was a race against the clock.

November 12, 2014 at 12:04PM, Edited November 12, 12:04PM

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Brandon Kelley
DIT/Director
634

Hello Brandon!
I appreciate your detailed comments, thanks.
I find them very valid. Could you please illustrate what you mean by "watch jump cuts" by picking an example from the film?
Another question: did the French accent bother you?

For the story: we assume he failed because of an unknown reason that is not really important (performance probably). So no real threat of being late but after he knows he ends up fired, he replays the beginning of his day in a different way. The theme of the festival is "I am a choice" so I focused on the many small choices we do everyday without noticing and that we would change if we knew what happens next :)

Julien

November 12, 2014 at 12:56PM

Great first stab man! It's always thrilling to start with your first short video/film. The music was quirky and the shots with the ol' tower are fun. Keep creating - if you quit now, you'll never grow or expand your skill set. If you absolutely love creating - be it filmmaking, music, or other - then keep at it.

November 13, 2014 at 2:23AM

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Wow! Thanks for the really motivating answer!!! It's really nice to read such a thing.

Julien

November 13, 2014 at 5:49AM

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November 24, 2016 at 9:22AM, Edited November 24, 9:33AM

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