What I'm saying is that individual lived experience is unique and wholly subjective, and no amount of education or consultation can substitute for the insights a lived life brings. It's curious to me why anyone would argue against that fact. It seems to suggest that you believe the contradiction, complexity and intimacy of your own life could be substituted by another and that you yourself would find it authentically you. Of course the argument makes more sense if what is really being considered is money and power rather than art and identity.
Lulu Wang is right, and it's not about being "woke". It's about knowing more and demanding more from the stories being told and the art being made. Stories today turn on their specifics, whether cultural or visual effect, we, the audience, want them to be evermore detailed and intimate. Not everyone, not even great ones have the capacity, the experience, or the ability to produce the necessary alchemy to tell every tale well. Some specifics need to be lived to be told. Hollywood and those it empowers have been very slow to learn this fact, but they will learn it because audiences, you and me, want, deserve, and can recognize excellent detailed intimate art. Lulu Wang is right.