I am a Cinematographer and Director living in Los Angeles with my Wife and Son. I have an overwhelming passion for Photography and Film that bores the hell out of even other Film types.
"Do the First and Final Lines of Famous Films Can Teach Us a Lot about Good Screenwriting?"
I almost, almost, fell bad for pointing this out, but, come on. The story's ABOUT "Good Writing", and you start out with Do rather than Can?
I hear you, but at this price, I feel like it's time to upgrade and not worry about storage needs, considering there are now 6tb drives out there for $110! And I've also found that not everyone knows this, but you don't really need a faster computer to edit 4k, just to view them. You use Proxy Files to edit, meaning you make copies of your 4k files at 1080p and edit those, then conform to 4k somewhere down the pike. But even if you're shooting at 1080p, the images from their new Sensor are sure to look stunning!
Why did you take the job if you didn't have a clue as to what it entails? Art Directors hire professionals to do tasks like Costumes (wardrobe), props (propmaster), and location scouting. Sorry to sound pissy, but I'm getting really tired of unprofessional yahoos just taking jobs they're not experienced for, when there are plenty of trained, experienced Art Directors out there trying to get work in their chosen field.
Also, you'd look less like a tool if you just used Google to find out what an Art Director does. I know you have Internet.
In short, no. Come up with something on your own.
I would really consider the meaning of the word "inspired".
Also, that film is just an art piece. It barely has a concept, and if the concept is "OCD", then the filmmaker doesn't know what OCD actually is. So as far as "stealing" a "concept" from this piece, I don't really think there's anything to steal. What, exactly, are you planning on doing with the concept? What appeals to you about this piece?
Well, first of all, I have to say, if I see another film with a Double killing himself, I will go nuts. And I even wrote TWO myself before realizing it's just about the most boring twist someone can come up with.
Having said that...
It's not terrible, it's just... nothing. You don't give us any reward at the end. Isn't it important to the Man in the Mask that the other guy understands WHY he's about to die? What's the point of keeping him alive otherwise? Why can't the man in the mask show his face? What's with the "F" on the desk? Why would he wipe any of the gun off, but not the whole thing? Then why leave it there? Do you know how much forensic evidence he left behind? Why does he let out that little wisp of smoke? Why the blood, which, by the way, he doesn't cough up, he just puts his hand over his mouth, and suddenly blood. And who shot him? Didn't he just kill the guy, who was tied up?
These are not the kinds of questions you want to leave your audience with. Makes things unbelievable.
Don't, don't, DON'T, put your script online for anyone to steal. Jesus...