Damn, I actually laughed. Pretty good test!
It seems that Canon has a wider range of lenses. One of the many reasons, I guess, would be because you can use a Nikon lens on a Canon body, but can't do otherwise. So there is no reason to buy a camera that won't have as many lenses as the other.
However, I am also going Nikon, and am hoping to buy my first DSLR, a D5300, later this year. But I agree with Jake, if it is an option and you have the right budget, go BlackMagick, nothing better than shooting RAW. If you don't have the budget for it, but can buy some lenses for your Nikon, I'd tell you to do so.
If you already set your mind up on this, I'd say 70d. It has a good tracking system that I believe the others don't have. But I haven't made any research on these two cameras. Still, if you want a new camera and have the money, buy the latest version. 5D Mk2 was the first DSLR with good video, the first, there has been a lot more after, and a lot improved.
Actually, if I am not mistaken, I believe 5D Mk2 actually doesn't have a nice autofocus, but if you are going to use just manual, I guess you would be fine with it.
I've been using Ubuntu for quite a while now, and it is great to have something like Lightworks, but since it only lets me render on 720p max, I guess I'll continue to use Kdenlive, that lets me render at 1080p. That it pretty much the only reason, because the workflow is good looking, the Color Correction tools are great, I've tried a few weeks ago.
I just really wanted DaVinci Resolve Lite for Linux as well, I know there is the pro version, but I'm not really a professional, so buying the software (both of them) while not even getting money isn't a great idea. Maybe in the future, I hope!
That's pretty cool... to be used once in a video. When you use that much you just go from "WHAAAT?" to the "why did you cut my head of?". But it is something to put maybe on the beginning of a "chapter" of the video. But it is quite expensive when you are not going to use all of it. If you had like just one template for about 5 or 10 bucks, maybe.
Well, that's a bummer. I guess I'm gonna stick to the D5300 and just save money to buy a better glass (and AF-S lenses are pretty expensive around here)!
Love Nikon and I'm pretty much about to buy my first DSLR. It is nice to see that Nikon is still investing on video, even though the D810 was already great!