This is a really interesting subject and one I've struggled with a lot. I think the advice of the video is very good although what I'd add is that it's really important to take the emotion of jealousy back to its base root - vulnerability.
Jealousy gets a bad rap but it's a very natural emotion that stems from our fear that someone else will take our parents attention away from us and we will be abandoned and subsequently die if we don't kill our rival right this instant! A very faint possibility when we are a two year old but maybe not quite so likely as a forty two year old filmmaker, grinding our teeth in the back row of our friends premiere screening.
Trying to nice it out in the comments section or turn the shame extinguisher on it won't work for long, those methods are what have kept it alive all these years in the first place.
What I find works for me is to really admit my jealousy, and most importantly how it makes me feel, to someone who cares about me outside of my creative endeavours. This act of honesty to a real live person usually reconnects me pretty quickly to the feeling of vulnerability that all that anger is trying to avoid.
It's an unpleasant feeling not because we are unpleasant people for thinking negative things towards someone else and their success, it's because when all eyes are on someone else we are remembering how it felt to believe we might literally cease to exist.
Showing someone this vulnerability allows us to be regarded in the way we really want to be, not for the things we make but just for being us, alive in the world. And best of all it un-hitches creativity from our need to be seen and loved and this is what frees us up to play and make our unique little marks just for the pure joy of it again.
A great article, thank you so much!
Then you too can have, "A life moving so fast, and so full, you won't even have time to process it"
Hmmm, is that really our guru?
Drive is vital and so is tenaciousness but I'm not sure the frenetic mania he's selling is going to get you to creative nirvana. The hardest thing isn't always the doing, it's the finding out what's worth saying, otherwise we're all just barking at once.
I can't slow down.
I can't get quiet.
I can't hear myself.
Sorry, also one more thing that this scene illustrates is how good writing layers many levels into a scene that feed back into one another. Miles is the story. The other characters are there to drive his story. A psychological reading of this scene that's intriguing is that jack represents the side of miles that wants to be outwardly impressive, the actor playing to an audience and maya the soulful more real side of miles that accepts itself and needs no outside audience to complete it. Miles' choice in this respect shows that he is not ready to accept himself yet and is tied to the outward looking false side of his personality.
Although I understand what you are trying to illustrate in the sideways bar scene, I think you're missing a key and interesting point. The turning point or pivot is not that jack flirts with maya, by this point the scene has already reversed from its early positive turn irretrievably for miles, the lead character of the film and the central element of its actual story. The key turning point comes earlier when jack lies about miles' book being published to maya, (watch miles face and refusal to toast jacks self serving lie), thereby forcing miles to lie to a woman he respects and wants a genuine connection with. It is at this point that miles first brave leap into the unknown that injects hope into the scene when asking maya to join them, is completely reversed into a negative, for miles, and therefore for the story. This is vital as it not only provides the drama of the scene but also precedes and signals in miniature the entire climax and theme of the film. Jack the actor, wants to have fun but isn't concerned about lying to achieve it, he learns nothing and remains unchanged at the films end. Miles wants to be genuinely loved but is so desperate to be a respected published author that he doesn't correct jacks lie because he wants maya to be impressed with who he thinks she wants him to be. This scene is importantly the first lie to maya that will lead to the mid act climax, where maya discovers jacks been lying to her friend Stephanie and all appears lost for miles. The false defeat that will eventually lead to miles gaining his true goal, self acceptance and then finally a meaningful relationship with maya. What's beautiful in the structure is that jack then illustrates that he is the guy that does the disclaimers for adverts.
"You sound like one of those guys"
"I am one of those guys."
The subtext being that everything he is about to unleash after this scene will be a bending of the truth for his own gain.
What this scene illustrates so well is that a turn in a scene only gets its positive or negative charge based on what the main character truly wants.
Miles negative reaction to jacks lie about him being published reveals not what he thinks he wants, ( to be an impressive writer) but what his true goal is: a sense of genuine self worth. The drama comes out of the characters conflict between these two oppositional goals, to be impressive to others or to be loved and accepted genuinely by yourself. Miles in saying they're going to bed chooses neither, (which if you watch closely isn't a surprise) because he is also enacting his revenge on jack for lying, ( look at his barely contained anger when he agrees with maya that it's a long drive so they must be tired). The scene ends where it began, charge wise, two sad men alone, first in a bar and then walking home on the highway. However the setup to the mid act climax has now been put in motion with jacks lie to maya.
Thank you for sharing this insight into how leaving the EU will effect the uk film industry. I feel compelled to write and make it clear to people outside the country how deeply humiliated I and all of my friends and colleagues feel today at the result of this vote. Please understand that half of the UK tonight is deeply wounded at having their beliefs in open sharing and cultural and creative collaboration so deeply dishonoured and ignored in this way.
Film at its best can be a medium that transcends the notion of culture and even country. I hope, In the same way that we can eventually remember, as we sometimes do in the flickering light of the cinema, that we are all at our best when we stand borderless in the country of the human.
Good advice, I'd like to also add that to many clients a film set can be a bewildering and strange place. They often don't know what all these people with strange job titles on the call sheet are doing there and at their expense, and what the hell is a magic arm!
Too much of this unknown and I've noticed that they can often begin to feel a little left out and panicked and they can then sometimes counter this feeling of loss of control by becoming over critical of each shot. It's therefore an important balance to keep the client involved in the process, in why you're making the descisions you're making and how each stepping stone will lead ultimately to the destination you've both agreed upon, without overwhelming them with too many technical details.
Always stay calm and kind. More matriarchal than the stereotypical shouting and domineering image of a director works best I find. The set is your kitchen, your realm and you and your crew know how to cook the best food in it but you're also acting as a generous host in some ways to the clients so keep offering them little morsels to try via a monitor or a set of headphones and ask them how it tastes. Once they see you know what you're doing and you've given them permission to join in they'll usually feel much more relaxed and included and leave you to it.
Aim to not only shoot good footage but also to have a collaborative, creatively fulfilling day where everyone comes away feeling they worked together on making something good and worthwhile and had fun doing it and I guarantee they will look forward to the filming experience with you in the future.
Despite all the hard work and even after all these years I still think a film set is a magical, exciting place and I love sharing that with my clients.