March 15, 2016 at 7:25PM, Edited March 15, 7:28PM

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Feedback on Short Documentary

I recently asked the same question on my "Portrait of a Photographer" and got wonderful feedback that really helped me look at my short documentary from a different perspective and realize my strengths and weaknesses. I re-edited and tried to change all the feedback I received to make it better with what I had to work with. The sound mixing is definitely my weakest point, however, being a one man team for this project I had to try and pass off with sound mixing myself for the project.

Would greatly appreciate if I could have feedback on my piece and thoughts on if the re-edit helped make it better! Thanks.
Re-edit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raPZ8wtJza0

Shot entirely on Nikon D7100
Sigma 17-50mm F/2.8 IS
Nikkor 85mm F/1.8
Nikkor 24mm F/2.8
Edited using Premiere Pro CC 2015

Original (lots of problems)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3kFDrwg_a8

4 Comments

Of course it is a personal preference but I prefer a more natural look.
It seems to me most shots are overly LUT-processed.

March 15, 2016 at 11:57PM, Edited March 15, 11:57PM

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Cary Knoop
Member
2291

Thanks for the feedback! I agree I do enjoy a natural look also, however, for this project I really did want to push the color grading. Maybe I went too far with it though

Ryan Moynihan

March 16, 2016 at 1:16AM

Hello there.
Really nice little work there.
Was it a personal project?
As a personal suggestion to make the interview look a bit more interesting (I thought it was maybe a little too close) it might have been worth shooting with two camera setups in order to be able to cut in between two different sizes.

Editing wise: I understand that you wanted to reach a sort of calm/contemplative feel for the piece but (and this is just my humble opinion) maybe it's a tiny bit too calm and contemplative.
Since the photographer already has quite a soft spoken voice and the edit tends to linger on shots maybe you could try with a slightly more lively/pacey music to see what kind of effect it creates.
I think it's a nice little film overall though, so well done!

March 17, 2016 at 9:27AM

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STEFANO NURRA
DIRECTOR
88

My very first thought about two seconds in was: "why 2.35:1?". It's a documentary, and we automatically associate documentaries with television, so a 16:9 aspect ratio. In my opinion with 2.35:1 there's immediately something off. There are no rules, I agree, but 99% of times I expect that aspect ratio in theatrical releases with heavy drama, sci-fi or "bombastic" ambitions. The somewhat landscape-ish nature of your documentary doesn't justify this choice, IMO. It looks off to me.

March 19, 2016 at 3:56PM

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David R. Falzarano
Director / Writer / Editor
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