Does that make the information any less relevant?

Check out this post on intros!

https://nofilmschool.com/2017/09/watch-stephen-king-pennywise-introduction

That sounds like a great start - just make sure the scenes follow move the story forward. Think about movies like Hereafter and how the repercussions of those openings matter. And check out our post on openings!

https://nofilmschool.com/best%20movie%20opening%20scenes

I bet it's a potato chip commercial

Yes. That sounds way too long. Ideally, your intro is about a minute or two, especially if it has nothing to do with the characters or story and is just set up. I would think about a way into the world that involved the people we meet along the way. Or a few lines that summarize where we are now, sort of like they do in Blade Runner - then give us an opening scene indicative of the story of the show. Mad Men opens with Don trying to sell cigarettes...

You're copywriting the idea, not the spelling and dialogue. As long as the revision isn't a major overhaul, you should be good.