Imagine you're watching The Mark of Zorro in theaters, there's no corona, and you decide to take a shortcut home. Your parents are billionaires but have no bodyguards because they are also doctors somehow. Anyway, they get MURDERED in front of you. And then it happens over and over.
And everyone who tries to tell your story kills them again and again.
They animate it, do it live-action, make it realistic, cheesy, and even have you say your mom's name so much it becomes a plot point.
Probably hurts, right?
Well, that's the pain we relive as an audience over and over again when we get Batman stories. Look, they did a Spiderman without killing Uncle Ben. We can get a Batman where we don't see his parents murdered.
But if you are going to murder Bruce's parents...here are the murders you have to beat.
All the Times Bruce Wayne's Parents Died on Camera, Ranked
I know I wrote the words "All the times..." but this is really just the times I remember. We probably need to find a way to tell these stories without retreading the same beats. I know we can do it.
Look, the event of his parents' death is tragic, but the scream at the end of this one will always make me laugh. And that's a problem.
8. The Dark Knight Returns (2012)
Another animated one, but this one has old Bruce, so we see he's still haunted. The guy needs therapy!
7. Batman: Year One (2011)
This one is animated and has the Ken Burns effect AND has some of the best sound design. It could be higher but I put it here arbitrarily.
6. Batman: Arkham Origins
I know this is a video game but it's really cinematic and you get to be a part of the mourning process!
5. Batman Begins
I hate this one because it involves a kid at the opera. If my parents made me wear a tux and go to the opera, I would have shot them myself.
4. Super Friends
I couldn't find the actual video but if you can, let me know. There's basically a thunder strike and just close-ups on body parts and no blood. Very tasteful.
3. Batman: The Animated Series
I mean... the shooter gave Martha, like, no time to hand over her pearls before he pulled the trigger.
Tim Burton uses so many dutch angles, so you know how to feel about the scene...and he ties it all back to The Joker!
1. Batman v Superman
Look, if you are going to do a list about Batman, I know better than to piss off the Zack Snyder fans. Plus, this one has slow-mo and a brutal face shot to Martha. Like... both, his parents get shot in the face.
How would you rank the on-screen deaths of the Wayne parents? Let us know down in the comments.